Amber StewartHow to Stop Resisting change to create progress in your life
Although change is both constant and inevitable, it is also one of people’s biggest fears. Humans crave comfort and security so anything that pushes us outside of our comfort zone can be psychologically viewed as a threat. This is why people often resist change by procrastinating, making excuses etc.
We have all been guilty of resisting change with the attempt to avoid the discomfort but are met with feelings of anxiety and worry instead. In this blog post, I will help you understand the fear of change cycle so you can stop resisting change and have the confidence to embrace it with open arms.
The Fear of Change Cycle Explained...
Below is a good representation of what happens when we are faced with the decision to make a big change and fear sets in:
I’m sure you’ve found yourself discontent with something in your life such as a job, relationship, car, body image etc. You try to tolerate, ignore, repress or otherwise deal with the circumstance because it’s comfortable and familiar, but you grow increasingly unhappy.
You cycle back and forth between being inspired or resistant to change simply because you are unsure if you are making the right decision. You may try to reason with your emotions and second guess yourself. Sure you are uncomfortable but is it really that bad? I mean a new job would be nice… but after being at your current job for so long, is it really worth it to leave even though you feel unfulfilled?…
So finally after wrestling back and forth, something happens that takes you to your breaking point. Maybe you get looked over for a promotion…again. Your boss hires a new employee who makes the work environment becomes toxic.
Whatever the case, you ultimately become fed up with the conditions that you begin to take action towards change. You start to do things such as taking interviews at new companies or work harder on your side business so you can transition to being a full time entrepreneur.
Ok! So you made your declaration and you took action. But say after maybe a couple of bad interviews, you become fearful. After being excited about the big shift, you start to become fearful the closer you get to taking that big leap of faith.
And as the fear continues to set in, you may find yourself starting to become resistant to change or you allow distractions to take priority over your discomfort in your current situation. For instance, a workplace emergency could make you feel as though now is not be a good time to leave your coworkers hanging even though you are unhappy.
So even though you may be uncomfortable making big changes, unsure if you are ready for new responsibilities, or scared if this future venture will be better than what you are leaving… at the same time, the idea of staying in your current circumstances also seems bleak, making you feel helpless.
If you allow the feelings of discomfort and too many distractions to get in the way, you may magically forget to make that change. So, you don’t take that big leap of faith and you never make change. You begin to settle back into your routine and become content with the discomfort
After the amnesia settles, you may find yourself backtracking and feeling content with the discomfort of your circumstances. You may conclude that you have more time or making that change isn’t necessary.
Although it may seem that you are changing your mind about the situation, in actuality, you are simply resisting change. Not only that, but you are also allowing yourself to accept those uncomfortable situations until you reach another, more painful, breaking point.
Depending on the circumstances, if you resist change long enough, you will keep repeating this cycle until you reach a breaking point so devastating that you will be put in a position where you have no choice but to change.
How to Stop Resisting Change...
Your Higher Self knows what you really want and is always trying to lead you to it. So you can either go willingly… or by force. This is why this life changing choice keeps coming up. So how do you stop resisting change? Well… you have 2 options:
Option #1
The first option is to be forced to change by a life event. Unfortunately, for many people, it takes an extreme circumstance to make them evolve to who they are meant to be, such as a major financial loss, loss with job, loss of a loved one, the ending of a relationship, a severe accident, a complete nervous breakdown etc.
If you have been going through the cycle over and over and over again, then just know that it will continue to happen until you stop the cycle. So if you resist changing long enough something is going to happen in your life that will put you in a position where you have no choice but to change. But you do not need to wait until there’s a flood to move your home away from the shoreline.
Which leads me to option #2…
Option #2
Your second option is to just be honest with yourself.
If you can when you are being resistant to letting it go and making changes, you can make a choice. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Can you see how this change cycle has impacted your life?
- Are you tired of going around and round in this cycle?
- And are you really ready to change?
Have you experienced yourself in this change cycle before? I know the idea of making big changes can feel uncomfortable, stressful, overwhelming and a bunch of other emotions. Just know that the more you resist making changes, the more you reinforce your fear response towards them. Until you are ready to be honest with the fact that although it is uncomfortable making changes, resisting these changes aren’t going to get easier.
And this can be a difficult pill to swallow. In some cases you will actually have a humbling experience of realizing that there’s a part of you that doesn’t actually want to change.
You may be comfortable with your routines, and unsure that you will be happier if you made those changes and that holds you back.
On the other hand, maybe you have a lot of connections and you receive some sort of benefit from remaining where you are.
Another option could be that you are unhappy because a part of you wants to be unhappy. Maybe you are addicted to the situation. You believe your pain is who you are. It’s your story.
Well whatever your reasoning, taking that next step and fighting through your fear towards change will allow you to take responsibility for your life and create the life you dream of having.
Nevertheless, until you are tired of reaching new breaking points and will accept nothing less than what you truly want, the cycle will never be broken. In order to break the cycle, you also need to understand the underlying reasons why you’ve been resisting change. If you want more information on the fear of change cycle, click here.
If you need help breaking free from your change cycle and getting to the root of what is holding you back then let me know, my Stress Alchemy course will teach you how to overcome your stress or anxiety around making changes so you will be filled with faith instead of fear. I hope this helps.
In Good Health,
Amber Stewart BS,
Holistic Nutritionist
Certified Master Life Coach
CTNC Mental Health Coach
Hi! My name is Amber and I’m a Body Goals Builder, Master Life Coach, Certified Health Coach, CTNC Mental Health Specialist, Stress Alchemist & Fear Conqueror
I used to be a people pleasing, work-a-holic who stressed herself out to climb the wellness industry’s corporate ladder, while obsessing over her self image. I soon realized that none of it mattered if I wasn’t happy with myself, inside and out, and surrounded around people who loved and respected me.
I now help individuals who are stressed out, out of shape and struggling to find balance in their lives learn how to ease their worries, improve their health, create 10x more joy in their lives and manifest the life of their dreams. At the STEW Project, we are maximizing our living potential by Simply Taking an Emphasis on Wellness.
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