AmberHow to React Logically When Emotionally Triggered
Do you have a hard time reacting logically when emotionally triggered? Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. We think we are done getting over that toxic situation but then… we get TRIGGERED:
- We see something traumatic happen again in the news
- We get a text from a toxic ex or family member
- Your boss or co-workers does something stupid that puts you in a state of overwhelm
- Your children are being children and stress you out or
- Your spouse is being neglectful making you feel unloved or unsure about the relationship or your self-worth
Regardless of what causes the trigger, failure to keep your emotions in check can cause a downward spiral and before you know it, your body’s stress response takes over and you subconcsciously revert to your favorite unhealthy coping mechanism. Whether it be food, alcohol, drugs, senseless swipes on social media, temper tantrums, or downright being petty, we can all fall victim to not reacting logically when emotionally triggered and unless you learn how to react logically when you are emotionally triggered, you will continuously reinforce your beliefs about certain situations, causing you to relive situations over and over again.
If you have been wondering how to react logically when under pressure or provoked, then this blog will discuss the steps necessary to break that trigger-reaction cycle so you can catch yourself before your emotions drive your actions. Recognizing when your reaction to a situation is building or burning a bridge is crucial to maintaining healthy relationships with others AND is also necessary for maintaining your mental health.
Step 1: Pause…Find the White Space
Just because emotions occur before logic doesn’t mean you have to be a servant to them. Acting purely on emotions is a choice. Diego Perez says,
"Reactions give us the clearest view of what our mind experienced in the past, they are dense patterns that rise from the deep subconscious as a way to protect us."
But this form of defense is not based on wisdom, but survival. When you are put in a situation that triggers you, it can bring back to those strong emotions that forces you to immediately react instead of processing the situation thoroughly. So when you are trying to react logically, the first step you need to do is to pause and then find the white space.
Remember it only takes 90 seconds for that initial emotion to travel through your body before it dissipates. Any time longer than that then you are allowing that anger, fear or pain to stay alive by repeating those thoughts.Finding the white space allows you to pause for 90 seconds to choose your reaction. Take a few deep breathes instead of quickly reacting. During that white space, try to get in touch with your emotions and name them. If you are able to call them out by name then they lose a lot of their power which allows them to pass over you.
People who have low Emotional Intelligence (especially self-awareness) have trouble identifying their own emotions. A telltale sign you have low self-awareness is if you have unpredictable emotional outbursts. An individual with low self-awareness has trouble suppressing these emotional storms because they aren’t able to recognize emotions. You can test your emotional intelligence by going to my freebies& quizzes page and take my emotional intelligence quiz.
Step 2: Get Your Mind Right
The next step necessary in reacting logically is to… get your mind right.
Diego Perez had put it perfectly:
"We manage our reactions not by controlling them but by bringing awareness into the process- its hard to change if you can't see yourself."
You can get your mind right and bring awareness into your situation by:
Looking at the big picture
We tend to worry or stress ourselves about situations because we are afraid of them having the same negative outcomes that happened in a similar experience in the past. But when you are able to look at the bigger scheme of things, you will understand that sometimes life will put you in situations that trigger you just to give you the opportunity to react differently. Sometimes your perspective about certain people or situations have been created out of limiting beliefs or past truama that forced you to be in survival mode. You can also get your mind right by…
Getting in touch with your emotions:
If you are able to call your emotions out by name, they lose much of their power and flow right through you. Is your situation making you angry, frustrated, fearful, angry, doubtful or anxious? Where is this feeling coming from? Have your reactions to similar situations in the past helped or hurt it?
Being able to pinpoint these answers can be the difference between lashing out, creating more turmoil, or sitting down and having an intelligent conversation to mediate the situation and build a stronger connection with trust and respect.
Step 3: Recognize Your Part in the Situation
The third step necessary to reacting logically when emotionally triggered is to recognize your part in the situation. A certain level of maturity is needed if you want to reclaim your power and stop being controlled by your thoughts. Recognizing your role in the situation allows the focal point of the problem to be turned inward and becomes especially useful when your reaction to a short term incident starts to undo your emotional balance and clouds your juudgement. Being aware of your part in the situation helps you to find clarity and breakthroughs during turbulent times. Are you giving to much to a situation? Are you looking at things from a distorted viewpoint? Are you over-reacting? You can build awareness by doing a couple of things:
Use A Growth Mindset:
Reacting logically has a lot to do with adaptability. If you become fixated on an ideal outcome, any other outcome becomes unaccaptable. This rigid way of thinking activates the stress response and lends itself to an emotionally charged reaction. To steer clear of going down that stress response rabbit hole, ask yourself a couple of questions: What is happening that is triggering you? Is there a possibility that your actions have been misinterpreted to create this person’s reaction?
Recognizing the part you play in a situation also requires you to recognize whether or not you are allowing cognitive distortions to keep your panties in a bunch. Cognitive distortions are just the skewed ways people see the world. Just because thoughts are common doesn’t mean they aren’t destructive. Types of cognitive distortions include:
- Black & White thinking: Believing everything is either black or white leaves no room to allow the complexitiesof situations to warrant people grace and room for humility and understanding.
- Jumping to conclusions: determining how someone feels about you based on scanty evidence can lead to a LOT of unnecessary drama or issues
- Catastrophizing: Believing that disaster is eminent or always overeaggerating (aka that drowning in a puddle mindset)
If you find yourself using distorted thinking to process a situation, take some time to change your perception. If you need help, then working with a mental health professional can help you work through them so you won’t keep falling victim to your emotions. If you need help then let me know.
Step 4: Choose Your Reaction Wisely
The last step to reacting logically is to… choose your reaction wisely. Your future can change drastically depending on the action to take in response to being emotionally triggered. In a blink of an eye, your decisions can make or break connections, relationships or opportunities.
Remember we are living in the cancel culture so people are quick to cancel and condemn you depending on your reactions to things. This is why its important to keep your emotions in check. Just a quick recap, the four steps necessary to react logically when emotionally triggered are:
1. Pause, find the white space
2. Focus on the big picture
3. Notice the part you play in the situation, and
4. Choose your reaction wisely
Sure it may feel good to give in to your ego and seek revenge, be petty, lash out, run away and isolate or resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms, but do these things actually help the situation?? Probably not.
The capacity to be aware, control, express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically is called emotional intelligence (EQ). EQ contributes to better psychological health, and lowers your chances of being diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders. EQ is the key to both personal and professional success which is why it is so crucial for individuals to be aware of and nurture.
Being Emotionally Triggered Can be a Thing of The Past
A lot of people allow their emotions to keep them stuck on the hamster wheel of life instead of reaching their goals. Countless indivduals fail to reach their body or life goals because of false beliefs, stress, poor time management or simply because, “they don’t feel like” doing the things necessary to get them seeing results.
My Stress Alchemy course meets you exactly where you are and helps build you up, mentally and emotionally, so you can release those cognitive distortions, find the motivation and courage to shift from the life you’re currently living, so you can live a life that you always wanted. – without the stress or fear of relapses. If you are interested to learn more about my course, then click here for more info. I hope this helps!
In Good Health,
Amber Stewart BS,
Holistic Nutritionist
Certified Master Life Coach
ACSM Exercise Physiologist,
CTNC Mental Health Specialist
TBMM Corrective Exercise Specialist
Hi! My name is Amber and I’m a Body Goals Builder, Master Life Coach, Certified Health Coach, CTNC Mental Health Specialist, Stress Alchemist & Fear Conqueror
I used to be a people pleasing, work-a-holic who stressed herself out to climb the wellness industry’s corporate ladder, while obsessing over her self image. I soon realized that none of it mattered if I wasn’t happy with myself, inside and out, and surrounded around people who loved and respected me.
I now help individuals who are stressed out, out of shape and struggling to find balance in their lives learn how to ease their worries, improve their health, create 10x more joy in their lives and manifest the life of their dreams. At the STEW Project, we are maximizing our living potential by Simply Taking an Emphasis on Wellness.
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