Self-doubt is really an expression of fear. If you let fear control your life, you will never have the things you truly want. However, if you relax and choose love, everything is possible.

But how do you choose love over fear or self-doubt? For starters, let go of the idea that you can just stop feeling fear. You can’t. You won’t. And that’s perfect. Instead of trying to kick fear to the curb, bring it closer to you. Fear is part of who we are and it’s something that we can’t get rid of – which is why when people try to stop living in fear or get rid of fear, they find that they can’t.

It’s not about getting rid of the fear; it’s about acknowledging that it is a part of the human experience while not letting it control you or your choices. 

Learning to challenge negative thoughts that cause self doubt might take time and practice, but it’s worth the effort. Once you start looking at your self talk, you’ll probably be surprised by how much of your thinking is inaccurate, exaggerated, or inclined towards a negative view of things. When you become aware of your self-doubt, use this as a signal to stop and reflect on your thoughts by asking yourself the following questions:

Questions That Act as a Reality Check

• What is the evidence for and against my thinking?

• Am I jumping to negative conclusions?

• How can I find out if what I’m thinking is actually true?

Questions That Seek Alternative Explanations

• Are there any other ways that I could look at this situation?

• What else could this mean?

• If I were being positive, how would I perceive this situation?

Questions That Put Things in Perspective

• What’s the best thing that could happen?

• Is there anything good about this situation?

• Will this matter in five years’ time?

Questions That are Goal-Directed

• Is this way of thinking helping me to achieve my goals?

• What can I do that will help me solve the problem?

• Is there something I can learn from this situation, to help me do it better next time?

Remind Yourself of Your Gifts

Self-doubt is often tied in with negative emotions. Negative thoughts can distort your perception of yourself making it easy to overlook your positive attributes. Even though you may believe these negative thoughts, they are far from the truth. Everybody has good qualities. Identifying your good qualities, even when you feel worthless, can help guide you to the things you are suited to, to find meaning and purpose in your life, and to see your own worth so you can build self-esteem.

Here are some tips to identify your positive qualities:

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• Focus on the good things about yourself and your life. Take notice of the good things you have done each day including your thoughts and actions.

• Try a variety of new experiences to learn more about yourself.

• Ask someone you trust about your good qualities.

• Seek professional help if needed to help you identify the positives in yourself.

• Learn to see the positives in your personality.

• Use a profiling tool to learn more about yourself.

• Focus on who you are as a person. Self-worth is not about possessions or achievements; it’s about who you are as a person.

Other tips to re-frame doubt:

Read or Listen to Something Inspirational 

Let someone else’s enthusiasm, motivation and constructive optimism flow over to you. Not only can reading or listening to something inspirational help you overcome self-defeating thoughts, it can also spark an idea, reignite a passion, or simply teach you something new.

Do Something to Shift Your Focus 

Doing something to shift your focus temporarily (i.e. shower, nap, walk around the block, count to 10, deep breathing). By the time you’ve completed the activity your mood will have often changed.

I hope this helps. If you find yourself still having trouble re-framing your self doubt then maybe working with a coach will help. Want to see if we would be a good fit? Schedule a free 25 minute discovery session to discuss your goals and whether I am the person to help you get there. You can do that by clicking here.

In Good Health,

Amber Stewart BS, ACSM EP, CTNC, TBMM CES