Having a hard time overcoming bad habits and negative behaviors? You’re not alone.  Most people struggle to overcome bad habits simply because they aren’t looking at the root cause of them.  At the root of all negative habits and behaviors are cognitive distortions (CDs) which are basically irrational and usually harmful thought patterns that interfere with your well being. They are habitual ways of thinking that are often inaccurate and negatively biased.

If you constantly find yourself saying things like,

“I should be doing this… I shouldn’t be eating that…”

or

“Everything I do is wrong…Everybody hates me…”

or

Constantly focusing on the negative without celebrating the positive, then you are using CDs which can make it hard to find the motivation to make the necessary changes and also encourage the behaviors you are trying to get rid of, such as not being motivated to exercise, over-eating, staying in toxic relationships or self-sabotaging your success. Below are some tips to help you overcome these CDs in order to change those negative habits or behaviors:

Tips to Overcome Bad Habits & Negative Behaviors:

 

 

Tip #1: Discover the Underlying Belief

Identify the underlying belief that may be supporting the cognitive distortions so that they can be discussed. The CDs will evaporate as you let go of the belief. When the CDs are gone, you are able to let go of the habits or behaviors that are tied to them as well.

Tip #2: Challenge Myths

Most cognitive distortions are based on people believing myths about themselves or about other people or about the world. Challenging that belief is about you standing up for your needs and what you deserve.

Tip #3: Mindfulness

Mindfulness is one of the most powerful ways that you can start to let go of cognitive distortions. It is about keeping the mind in the present moment. When you’re in the present moment, then you can be more aware of emotions and the effect of stress and you can key into that internal wisdom and your gut feeling, which helps you to balance emotion and logic.

Tip #4: Stop Judging

Stop the madness that goes on around judging each other. We can do this when we start describing the world in facts, not opinions, or emotion. Flip the switch and put yourself in that person’s shoes and understand that we never fully understand what’s going on with another person. It’s an easy way to just be present and come back and shut down judging from the very beginning. Also, don’t judge yourself. When you make a mistake or things don’t go perfectly, let it go.

Tip #5: Practice Extreme Self-Care

Extreme self-care is a great way to deal with cognitive distortions. Self care focuses on doing what you need to do in order to take care of yourself. If you need tips for self care, click here.

Tip #6: Reduce Stress

When we’re stressed and we’re run down and we haven’t taken care of ourselves, we’re way more sensitive. Some ways to reduce stress include:

• Remove yourself from the stressful situations
• Prioritize self care
• Learn how to say no
• Relaxation exercises
• Meditation • Exercise
• Social support

Tip #7: Use Distraction

Distraction is a great psychological technique that can help to curb negative behaviors. One way of using distraction is to activate the five senses. Being mindful of our sensory experience, distracts us from difficult feelings that we might be experiencing in the moment. Distraction is a great way to take you away from that situation, give you white space, give you perspective, but then come back to the situation again and know your truth.

Tip #8: Uncover Your Feelings

Uncovering what you’re feeling is an important thing as emotional awareness is difficult. Ask yourself, “What are you feeling in this moment? What are you feeling in this moment?” Get in the habit of doing that often. This tends to be more difficult because we didn’t grow up learning to re-connect with our feelings on a regular basis. Tune into the physical sensation of your emotions. For example:

• Anger – Anger is often felt in the back between the shoulder blades and travels upward along the back and neck and around to the jaws and head. Feeling hot and flustered is a sign of anger as well as tension, pain and pressure in the back, neck, and jaw.
• Disgust – Disgust is felt primarily in the stomach, chest, and head areas of the body. Symptoms may include feeling sick or nausea and closing off your nasal passages.
• Fear – Fear is felt primarily in the top half of the body, except when it involves a fear of heights it can involve increased sensation in the legs. Symptoms may include increased heart rate, increased respiration, and sweaty palms.
• Happiness – It is one of the most easily recognizable emotions but difficult to define. It may include feelings of warmth throughout the whole body or a sense of feeling content, safe, or living the good life.
• Sadness – Sadness often begins in the chest and moves upward through the throat and up to the eyes where we may see tears.
• Surprise – Surprise is felt in the head and chest. It is experienced in response to the unexpected and may feel like a jolt.

Tip #9: Sit with Difficult Emotions

Difficult emotions are considered unacceptable, but if you will let them, they will heal you. When you allow yourself to sit with uncomfortable emotions until you get to that feeling of uncomfortableness, you will then notice that those feelings start to go and you will start to be okay with the feeling. The feeling evaporates and you start to let it go. Ninety seconds is how long it takes for an emotion to come up and completely pass through you and be gone.

Tip #10: Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is silencing your inner critic. It’s allowing yourself the space to make mistakes and to be human.

Tip #11: Self-Love

This is learning to love and accept yourself just as you are.

Tip #12: Letting Go of Control

It is important to let go of control and recognize the things that you can and cannot control, and let go of the things that are not under your control. Things like how others view you and the natural shape of your body, your face, your nose, etc., and accept change as inevitable. Let go of the need that you have to succeed. Even the most successful people fail so many times before succeeding, but that’s the difference between the successful and people who are not so successful. You may not be able to control if you fail always, but you can control whether or not you keep trying.

Need help uncovering the cognitive distortions in your life in order to break free from the negative habits or behaviors that are keeping you stuck? Then working with a mental health professional who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help you get to the root cause of your issues. I know that’s one of the methods that I use with my clients and it has helped me overcome the thought patterns that contributed to my anxiety and depression in the past. If you need help and interested in coaching then click here to schedule a call to discuss your options. I hope this helps.

In Good Health,

Amber Stew